June 24th, 2013

Making My Escape Plan

Summer Vacation Itinerary

escape

DAY ONE

8am        Flight to San Juan
Youngest son props giant Civil War book as a makeshift pillow on your shoulder for the four hour flight. Book is a 400-page hardcover.

1pm        Car Rental Counter
Husband finds out all rental cars are now “smoke free” for which, it seems, you are personally responsible.

2pm        Hotel by the Beach
Letting your 20-year-old son pack his own suitcase results in no swimsuit and no flip flops. Your slow burn is effectively ignited by his category 5 sulk upon learning the hotel has no Wi-Fi.

2:05pm   Contemplation of escape plan begins. Resources consulted include:

Where’d You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple
Once renowned L.A. architect Bernadette Fox finds both the people and weather of Seattle eroding her sanity. Attempting to plan a long promised family trip to Antarctica hilariously derails, as Bernadette is forced to ever more eccentric means of hiding her agoraphobia. Bewildered by his wife’s behavior, Microsoft guru Elgin Branch attempts a mental health intervention during which Bernadette mysteriously disappears. Compiled by her daughter, the story uses Internet postings, emails, magazine articles and FBI reports to trace Bernadette’s journey back to her family.

Ladder of Years by Anne Tyler
A 40 year old Baltimore woman strolls away from her family down a Delaware beach and vanishes into thin air. Following an impulse we have all felt, Delia creates a new life. But is it a better one?

Escape by Barbara Delinsky
Once an idealistic young lawyer, Emily finds herself slowly suffocating in a New York City corporate cubicle. At her breaking point, she turns off her Blackberry, steals her husband’s car and returns to the small town that changed her life one college summer to rediscover and renew old relationships.

The As If Principle by Richard Wiseman
Through experiments and case studies, Wiseman makes a case for letting your actions shape your emotions when seeking change in your relationships.

Secret Journeys of a Lifetime by Keith Bellows
From island getaways to undiscovered villages, a photo filled trip planner from National Geographic.

—————————————————————————————————————

DAY TWO

10am        Snorkeling excursion by sailboat
It appears you and sailboats do not get along. Youngest son holds bag of ice to the back of your neck as husband and oldest son pack water and a book into the boat’s dinghy which takes you to white sand, deserted beach. Spend afternoon collecting sea glass and swimming in warm, clear water. Decide to temporarily mothball escape plan.

What do you read when you just can’t take it anymore?




Comments are closed.